Sleep, glorious sleep

Sleep has often alluded me. I’ve had severe insomnia since I was a young child. I remember being 7 or 8, laying in bed long after my 8pm bedtime, running scenarios through my head because my brain would not be quiet and let me sleep. I often remember being awake after my parents had turned all the lights off. In high school, I spend one two week period awake except for about 3 hours total sleep time. It is true that after that amount of time, you begin to hallucinate. My step mother finally gave me sleeping meds to knock me out, because I was getting a little loopy.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to make myself sleep, hoping for sleep, or just giving up on sleep altogether. Recently I’ve been given Zoloft and trazedone for sleep and depression by my general practitioner. I haven’t been taking them the last two weeks because I am sleeping. I have been going to bed about a half hour after my husband (usually it’s hours later, even when I was taking my meds regularly), and then getting up either at 5:15 or 7:15. Before this week, I was getting up at 10, because I was in a drug induced haze. Today, I got up at 7:15. Felt fine, stayed up all day without a nap, ready for bed soon. This seems like a normal thing for most folks.

For me, it’s heaven. 8 hours of continuous sleep. How to explain to someone the joys of being able to get up in the middle of the night, void your bladder, and go back to sleep right away. The joy of being able to tell my husband and daughter good bye in the morning and crawl back into bed for two more hours and actually sleep. I actually look forward to being in bed by 10 pm, because I can see that sleep will be there within the hour.

I attribute the change, in part, to the physical changes in the house. But mainly, I really think it’s the gluten free dietary changes. I have more energy when I should, and I don’t have brain mania at night. I’ve only had one sleepless night in three weeks…that’s monumental for me.

All I can hope for is it stays this way for a good, long time. It’s been nice to be reacquainted with sleep.


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